A life on purpose...

It has nothing to do with perfection nor is a call for it. It is a statement of intent: to do whatever is within my reach to live a life that feels as authentic, free, true, and joyful as I can have. Whatever-that-means-to-me at every moment of time and regardless of how it looks like. It's about being intentional on what I put my energy into, what I focus on, literally and figuratively. Intentionally direct the focus of my thoughts and actions.

It has nothing to do with a goal, rather with developing a practice. Being persistent and compassionate. Am I ready and willing to hold myself with love and compassion on the days I will fall out of intention? In those moments when I act from personality tendencies that are attached to old patterns? To change the way I treat myself when I make mistakes? Not in theory but with a daily practice of exorcising the guilt: guilt for not treating myself well, catholic guilt, guilt for not being better at 'being better'.

A practice on allowing myself more flexibility, joy and ease. Practicing living life with more affection, calm, listening and sensitivity. Gradually releasing the energies of obligation and control that can appear on each step. Creating space and changing they way I live by changing the tangible, practical, day-to-day actions; those so small that could even go unnoticed and the big ones that mark the step. Translating the knowledge I've learned and wisdom I have developed into real and concrete actions that determine things. It is about committing and fulfilling my own promise; training, improving, learning.

A life on purpose is a reminder that a part of building a life that feels authentic and true is going to be falling off the rails, having a bit of a mess because I acted without emotional clarity, rejecting parts of myself and listening to fear. But that's not the most important part of all this. What is truly important is that I made a commitment with myself to bring me back again and again, with love and patience. Bring me to the present, to the body, to the breath, to my true energy, again and again. To hold myself up when I'm crying naked in the mud because everything around looks murky, and also to celebrate myself dancing arms up when I can't hold all the gratitude for being alive and having the privilege of being able to feel all that I do. It's a practice to develop a strong confidence that I will have myself to back me up, no matter the scenario or wheather life brings me. Connecting with my essence, do my best and trust. Is quitting on looking eternally at what's happening outside and listening more to what's happening inside. Trusting that my heart trully is like a compass, even if it sounds cliché, and compasses can't foresee everything, analyze, plan or know everything, but they do show the right direction, and the rest can be figured out along the way...that's what I have myself for. But is not just about the promise, is also that I'm fulfilling it.

It's a public statement, but in reality it is private. It's forgiving myself for when I didn't hold me, when I abandoned myself. Forgiving myself for not perceiving the signs in time, not having taken better care of myself and not having listened to my instinct sooner. Hug myself and move on by respecting and honoring my sensitivity, my desire, my intuition, my imperfection and my talents this time around.

Letting go of the branch and letting the river take me wherever I need to be to make my time here a sensational one. (sentire-cion-al)